So here's the story...

So this is pretty much what happened: I fell in love... It didn't make much sense and pretty much opposed everything I believed in, but I couldn't help it. I frustrated myself, my friends, my pastors, and most of all, God's grace... As wrong as I knew it was, I still wanted it. And that just made me feel all the more guilty. So I tried to reason, bargain and overcompensate.... All to no avail. I was my own worst enemy. And then I got a "revelation" from Ulu... "Anna, don't you see how much God loves you? He won't even let you go there... Even when you want it and are willing to, His grace is protecting you by not even giving you the opportunity to fall." Literally, the next day God showed me a sign, something just between me and Him (even though some of my friends ended up being witnesses to it), that has finally set me free. And then I heard this song... and realized that this is exactly what has been going on and what God wanted to tell me...


10th Ave N "By Your Side"

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
Where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To whom will you run

'Cuz I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
Please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

I love finding these new, obscure "indie" Christian bands that are just so raw and real... They talk about real stuff, life as it is, the good, the bad and the ugly. Because sometimes it does get ugly. It's not always all flowers, candles and blissful Hallelujahs. Hard times do come, pain does come, tears do come... Heartbreak comes... Storms, winds, rain and earthquakes will come. It's what you do during that time that reveals who you really are, what you're really made of and what your life is built on. And it's those times that draw you closer to God than ever before... if you choose to go that way, of course... Or you can pull away and suffer alone, which I don't recommend. No matter what though, He is there, just waiting for you to let Him help you and rescue you.