Friday, July 10, 2009

Slow Healing

I'm just about half way through my 40 days, and it's nice... I'm pretty much settled into the "new" routines, "new" bedtimes (lol) and "new" surroundings. In fact, I like being in this "bubble" so much, that I'm considering doing 40 more days! Ok, fine, I wont :P It does feel good to be nurtured, strengthened, refreshed, recharged and healed and restored though :) Even though I already feel 200% better, I don't want to cut my regiment short. It's too good! I'm getting too much out of it :) Here's what's been on my mind thus far:

*You can only rebuild that which has already been broken. It's the whole potter/clay analogy... Mold me, shape me, form me...

*I value grace when I recognize it being given to me by God. But I value it so much more now that I realize how much I need it from people as well.

*Damage can be done instantaneously. A misinterpreted word, look or touch (or lack thereof altogether) can often be enough to cause damage equivalent to a gunshot wound (through the heart).

*Some time ago, I fell for the first time while rollerblading at Greenlake. As my knee made contact with the road, the bloody mess appeared right away, while the pain didn't. Still, I played it tough, got up, brushed myself off and rollerbladed the rest of the way back even as blood was trickling down my leg. In fact, I didn't feel any pain or even realize the extent of the damage until I tried to clean it up later. While cleaning up was necessary, ironically, it was also the most painful.

*Soul wounds are parallel to physical wounds, and can fester with infections of anger, bitterness and resentment. They need to be treated with an anti-bacterial ointment (God's love poured into our hearts via the Word of God a.k.a. the Bible).

*Scabs are tricky... You never want to remove them prematurely for the risk of having to go through the healing process all over again. Let them fall off naturally and on their own, even if it does take more time... While it may be fun to test and push the boundaries, the additional pain resulting from that is not worth it.

*I think scars are there to be a testimony, a constant reminder of what happened and a warning to not let it happen again.

*It's not what you do, or what is done to you that matters. It's how you respond in the aftermath. We can't control the actions of others, and sometimes even our own actions get misinterpreted or are just plain wrong altogether. So what do we do when we do wrong or are done wrong? I think the first step is to recognize (what really happened), the second is to forgive (yourself and the other person) and the third is to make amends (make things right and move on without holding any grudges).

*It has never ceased to amaze me how quickly the good can be forgotten when faced with the bad. Sure, we enjoy and appreciate kindness the moment it happens, but as soon as something goes wrong, it's like our memory becomes wiped clean of the good stuff and we only hold on to the bad. I want it to be the opposite for me: forget the bad stuff the moment it happens and hold on to the good forever :)

*Always think the best of people... I doesn't matter what kind of crazy thoughts and ideas are swarming in my head, I choose to think the best... And treat people according to that. I would be lying if I said I had it down... I don't... I'm working on it... Or I should say, God is working it out in me :)

*There is no fear (of rejection) in love, but perfect love (of Christ in me) casts out ALL fear :)