Love

So last week I finished reading an awesome book about love... I think it was by far one of the best, because it was so practical, hands on, and real... Just like me ;) The name of this fantabulous book is The Five Love Languages for Singles by Gary Chapman, and it was much better than his original one written for married couples, which I also read when it first came out. To put it simply, the book is about how to give and receive love to and from practically anyone and everyone around you. When you think about it, that is pretty stinkin' important considering how many relationships (not necessarily romantic ones) we are all in!!! What has captured me at the very beginning of the book was how the author defined love... Check this out:

"Covenant love is conscious love. It is intentional love. It is a commitment to love no matter what. It requires thought and action. It does not wait for the encouragement of warm emotions but chooses to look out for the interest of the lover because you are committed to the other's well being." p. 29

He went on to explain that the first "obsessive" stage of love (I-wanna-be-with-you-every-waking-moment-because-you-are-always-on-my-mind) usually passes within 2 years and that's when covenant (committed/bonding/a.k.a. marriage) love needs to kick in, in order for the relationship to continue. He also said something else in the beginning which cracked me up, but also made me really sad...

"You have likely invested time to learn the language of computers. If so, you have reaped the benefits. Unfortunately, most single adults know more about computers than they do about love. The reason should be obvious. They have spent more time studying computers than they have studying love. " p. 19

So basically here's the breakdown: There are 5 Love Languages (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gifts, and Physical Touch), and each person has a primary language that they communicate and recognize love by, with a secondary language close behind. The problem arises when someone tries to communicate love to us in their own primary language, which is not our own, leaving us feeling unloved and the other person frustrated because they feel like their language of love is not reciprocated, unacknowledged and unappreciated. And the miscommunication begins... Sad... And totally unnecessary... When we choose to love the other person, we choose to speak their love language, making them feel loved, and therefore having them love us in return... It's a cycle of love... Ok, so maybe not that cheesy, but just go ahead and read the book, I promise you won't be sorry :)