"Count the Stars" CG Conference '08 and Beyond...

Youth conferences are great... The music, the worship, the mosh pits, the energy, the excitement, the lights, the crowds, the sweat, the lifted hands, the unity, the powerful word, the presence, the conviction, the altar time, the tears, the snot, the prayers, the promises, the desperation, the surrender... the change. But is that all?

I was watching a promo video of my first GC Conference from 2 years ago the other day, and it was pretty cool to see myself in it, a true GCer, so eager, so excited, so pumped... I remember that conference very well. I was as involved in it as one could be and it rocked my world... I remember last year's conference too. I was a cool YPer then... too cool for the front, too cool for the mosh pit... It was the beginning of a period of transition from City Church to The Image for me, so I was pretty strained, desperate to hear from God. I remember I got my answer loud and clear... And then there was this year's conference... Going there as a youth leader from a different church felt nice... like a promotion almost... Rubbing shoulders with the famous pastors, being a foot away from Shawn Alexander, and hanging out in the youth pastors lounge was amazing :D I knew I was truly saved when pastors and preachers became my new celebrities :) Going there with my girls (for my girls) gave me a new perspective... All of a sudden I was excited to get my fake star tattoo and jump around in the mosh pit during worship :P And then the message hit. Hard.

Joel Stockstill was mind blowing. It was such a stinking honor to even see/hear him in person, never mind have him right next to me. However, it was Christine Caine who had me on the edge of my seat last night, and then at the altar on my knees. Her message on crossing the street, on cookie cutter Christianity, on people, had my heart burning the entire time her voice resonated. I looked at her and saw myself, listened to her words and heard my own message. There have been very few people in whom I saw the same love and passion for people that I have... Pastor Judah, Pastor John, and now Christine Caine. I'm know others have it too, but these are the only 3 people who have brought me to tears with it. The man I marry MUST have it as well :) I'm going to preach about this again, because I believe that it's the single most important message that Christians need to get into their hearts. If we can't practically share God's love with a person "across the street" then we have officially failed as His representatives. Let's just pack it up and go to heaven, our job here is done.

I'm sick and tired of self absorbed, self centered Christians. I'm sick and tired of cookie cutter Christianity that puts God in a box, limiting Him and what He wants to do. I'm nauseous of messages that focus on God and what He can do for us as Christians, all the while letting the hurt, the broken and the lost people fall through the cracks, slip through our fingers never once experiencing the love of God, the character of God, and the presence of God. I don't want to just be a poster child for Christianity. Yes, I want to save the world, no, I don't think I'm doing enough and if no one else will do it, I will. I don't have a checklist of how many people I share Christ with and how often I do it, it's not about "doing", it's about "being". God can use a donkey if He wanted to, and He has, so it's not even about me feeling good about myself every time God decides to use me. Surrender costs. It costs everything. But at the same time you are also given everything. Everything you could have never gotten on your own.

Today, as I was working out of my boss' house, listening to my Planetshakers, minding my own business, one of his roommates came to sit and work at a desk next to mine. My music was loud enough for him to hear but I hardly even noticed. After a few minutes, he turned to me and asked, "Anna, are you religious or something?" At first I was like, "Huh?" But then I realized he was asking me because of my worship music. So I said, "Well, no, I'm not religious, but yes, I'm a Christian." He responded with, "Well, yea, I hear your music is all about Jesus." So I replied, "Yea, I know, I love Jesus." All this with a completely straight face. I was smiling, but I was completely serious. His response floored me: "Well, it's OK, there's nothing wrong with that." You'd think I just told him I was a stripper or something! After a second of collecting myself I was finally able to reply, "I'm sorry, did I say there was anything wrong with it? I'm actually pretty proud of it." After that we ended up talking about God, religion and Jesus for 2 hours, and this guy's world was turned upside down. Why is it that people consider being a Christian something shameful? Like it needs an apology. Could it be that the church's attitude allows for it? There are so many worship songs that say something like, "I'm not ashamed" and I can't stand them. Why do I even need to be ashamed? I'm not the one doing something wrong. I have clean hands, a pure heart and a clear conscience. I stand blameless in front of God and people. Or at least I should be able to on any given day :) So lets break the mold because we were created in THE IMAGE, called sons and daughters of God, made into a model, a representation of everything He is... and that is NOTHING to be ashamed of. So yea, I will cross the room, cross the street, cross the city, the state, the country, the world... I'll be God's GPS system, rerouting the lost, noticing people and not walking by. Why? Because the love of Christ compels me.