Last day :(

Current mood: peaceful
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

today is my last day at the school...
the pastor announced it yesterday just as i came up to preach at the opening session before that i was very happy and excited
that changed as soon as i walked back into the classroom
my kids were mad and sad and really upset
so that made me sad... i didnt realize how much they'll miss me...
so today my desk if filled with flowers... lots and LOTS of flowers and cards and candy and pictures and even cake lol
parents telling me i'll be missed and students wining and asking me why i have to leave...
its sad and happy and sweet and exciting and frustrating and humourous all at the same time... its bittersweet... i love them and they love me... i know i'll see them, some of them all the time even so i'm not worried... or maybe it still didnt really sink in yet...

Shakespeare

Current mood: hungry
Category: Writing and Poetry

since i seem to be just stealing others' blogs this week, here's one more to add to the "stolen" collection. it's from Ulu and i LOVE it!

Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Must run in the family...

Current mood: curious
Category: Life

My 17 year old cousin wrote this (yesterday i think) and when i read it, it was as if i was reading my own thoughts... i was just thinking about this! crazyness... it must run in the family... or be a Russian thing ;) perfect thoughts Current mood: weird Category: Life Do you ever just have thoughts bouncin around in your head and you just dont know what to do with it. People keep asking you. why r u so random? how did u even think of that? well.... look at the world around you how can curiousity not over take everything in you, its more powerful then fear or hate. My mind is constantly changing about everything and everyone. As soon as I'm not curious about it anymore i move on. But how some ppl unlike other ppl you can figure out so easily but others you can spend a life time with and they still amaze you. I think i have always wanted to surround myself with such ppl.....the kind that keep you wondering and guessing, with random thoughts and brilliant ideas who never count danger into the equation, but just go. Where their curiousity is so driven that no kind of fear can stop them. Ppl with their own opinions who are not afraid what would happen if they did but are scared to loose the opportunity if they dont. Well then I also think, who would be my perfect guy..... someone who would be able to keep up w/ me and can be more weird crazy and random then me someone who is more playful then me and smart in their own sense of the world that surrounds them, someone who is my complete opposite, i never wanna feel so content in a realtionship that is soon to become boring, but be with someone who is always premisciuse, who i can learn from and test every boundry with, walk on the edge of life and see what is there to find. But who the hell is that..... well i know that some times its too late, but i have met him. And for someone to out do him is crazy. but i have only now realized that he was everything i have always wanted and i loved his every flaw. I dont think this world has two of the same. So i either need to find some normal guy who is loyal nice smart agreeable consistant safe cute romantic (psht ew) prince charming sux! i want wolverin the distubed crazy guy who is wayyyyy better then a prince charming.....cuz i dont need to be rescued!!!! or just live my life trying to find someone that can come close to all his imperfections........ i can never wait for him because he will never come but its not like i cant be with out him... i can. Its very simple now, he will either come into my life again or not but one thing will never change......he will always be right for me, i am sure i will find someone absolutly perfect but i dont like perfect....perfection = boring...... all i want is his perfect imperfections that i have now realized i absolutly unconditionaly love about him. Offcourse my mind might change about this, but what will never change is that he was the first one to absolutly drive me crazy in everyway and all i wanted was more...............wow ya hah.

WOW (this is DEEP)

Current mood: impressed
Category: Romance and Relationships

i stole this from PJ cuz its SO good:

Perfect Love/Believe and Be Satisfied

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,

To have a deep soul relationship with another,

To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But God, to the Christian says:

"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone,

With giving yourself totally, unreservedly to Me,

With having an intensely personal and unique

Relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found;

Then you will be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you."

You will never be united with another, until you are united with Me,

Exclusive of anyone or anything else,

Exclusive of any other desires or longings,

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing,

And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing –

One that you cannot imagine.

I want you to have the best.

Please allow Me to give it to you.

Just keep watching ME,

Expecting the greatest things.

Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM,

Keep listening and learning the things I tell you,

You just wait.

That's all.

Don't be anxious, Don't worry.

Don't look around at the things others have gotten or that I've given them.

Don't look at the things you think you want.

You just keep looking off and away up at Me,

Or you'll miss what I want to show you.

And then, when you're ready,

I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you dream of.

You see, until you are ready, and the one I have for you is ready,

(and I am working even this moment to have both of you ready at the same time),

Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me

And the life I have prepared for you,

You won't be able to experience the love that

Exemplifies your relationship with Me,

And thus the perfect love.

Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.

I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me

And to enjoy materially and completely the everlasting union of beauty,

Perfection and love that I offer you with MYSELF.

Know that I love you utterly,

I am EL SHADDAI (most loving).

Believe and be satisfied

"...and You came to my rescue..."

Current mood: loved
Category: Friends

GOD IS GOOD!!!

that's right!!!

I have THE most AMAZING friends!!! :D

and THE most amazing, incredible, loving, caring, Godly guy friends! i love them so much i just HAVE to give them shout outs: M.C., D.B., K.S.K., and B.M.!!! :)

yea, so i had a rough couple of days, but guess what? God was there!!! He saw my struggle, my pain, my frustration and my tears and He answered my prayers (which kinda caused even more pain and tears in itself but was for the best), comforted me and gave me exactly what i needed, wanted and asked for today! He is SO good! and i love Him SO much!

i know i'm in His perfect will and He wants and HAS the VERY BEST for me :) it's already mine and in the right time, His time i will get it :) meanwhile, i'm happy just to know He is protecting me from everything that's not from Him, that's not for me because it's not my perfect fit and wouldnt make me perfectly happy. so yea... i love life, i love God and i love my friends... what can be better than that?!

3 Strikes

Current mood: sad
Category: Romance and Relationships

and i'm out

i suck at this game

"Why's it always circumstantial?
Never any real potential
Obvious and so sequential
It always ends the same
Holding out with all that's in me
Is it worth all this pretending?
A story with an ugly ending, it's never worth the pain"

-toby mac

I amaze myself...

Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life

...the way i can smile and look perfectly happy having recieved news that make me want to scream
...how i can look someone in the face and say the exact opposite of what i really mean
...how i can put up this wall to try to cover up my true feelings

AND FOR WHAT?!?! for the sake of appearances? to look good and to save face? to be cool? to act like i dont care when i really care so much i couldn't possibly care more?
and whats even more pathetic is that i cant lie for anything and that i am so transparent people can see right through my act and then i end up looking even more dumb...
ugh i hate this! i hate how i cant just speak the truth and be myself sometimes at the risk of being vulnerable. not with my friends of course, but even sometimes with them although thats impossible cuz they know me too well... and the truth always comes out in the end anyway... oh well, just keepin' it real...

S.O.S.

Ok guys, as some of you may already know, the school where I work has been going through somewhat of a crisis ever since the church that it's a part of has split. We've been loosing students by the dozens with family after family pulling their children out. After numerous staff meeting and parent conferences the verdict has been passed: the school critically needed to cut staff. Since I was their biggest expense, I was given a month notice yesterday.
I know that God has brought me to that school and I know that it is Him who is moving me on as well. I'm not scared, angry or upset. It may seem strange, but I'm really at peace about it and very excited about what God has in store for me next. This wasn't a surprise as I feel that God has been preparing me to move on from there as I have already shared with a few of you. Still, this doesn't make the transition much easier since I don't yet know what I'm transitioning to. So I need your prayers! BIG time! I know God is in control and He will bring me to my next job, so please pray that it will happen quickly and smoothly. Thank you so much for your prayers and support! I really love and appreciate all of you! If you know of any exciting job opportunities that may be for me, let me know :)! Thanks again for being so wonderful!

Blessing, hugs and kisses!