Family

Current mood: happy
Category: Friends

Ever since God began to reveal Himself to me as my Father and my church (City Church) as my family (His family), things haven't quite been the same… I began to look at the people in my life, my friends from church, as more than friends, but as my family… my brothers and sisters in Christ. It has never been an issue with girls, but I do have to admit I struggled with viewing guys (cute guys especially) as my so called brothers… just as my relationship with my earthly father made it difficult for me to accept and view God as my ultimate Father, my relationship with my own brother (we are not very close) and my past relationships with the opposite sex (not healthy) have made it very difficult to view and relate to guys at church as brothers instead of a potential husband or even just a friend. God is so good and faithful to me though… it rocks my world how He takes such great care to reveal, restore, redeem, heal, transform and renew my heart and mind when it comes to my relationships with Him and His children-my family. On Sunday night, I had a breakthrough in viewing the opposite sex as brothers… as family… The GC Dance Team was practicing the conference dance in the Intern dorms and the "more advanced members" were watching and helping the "not so advanced members" (me). After a particular part, N came up to me and was like, ok, on this part you move your upper body too much, it should just be the shoulder, and on this part you move your hips too much. As you can imagine, in response I turned like ten shades of red! I was beyond mortified! I was totally and completely embarrassed! Of course I moved my upper body and hips too much, that was how I used to dance! That was the only way I knew how to dance! None of that however is now appropriate, and I have to train my body to drop those habits and "keep it holy". Anyways back to N… he totally didn't mean to embarrass me! He told me those things with a completely serious and straight face looking me in the eyes with such purity, innocence and brotherly love that it totally blew me away. I have never experienced anything like that! My first thought was, I don't want him looking at me like that and why and how can he tell me these things? My previous experience with guys "helping" and/or "teaching" me how to dance always included ulterior motives and I always felt like they were just checking me out and trying to get with me. N's motives however were squeaky clean and crystal pure… he genuinely was helping me learn the dance… I felt his love and care for me… a brother's love and care for a sister… and it totally made me want to reciprocate… what can I say? I feel like a part of the family...