Rhyme and Reason

Yesterday was a sad and frustrating day... Now that all has been said and done, here's my rhyme and reason for who, what and why:

When you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, what do you choose? I did not want either candidate to be my future president. As a conservative Republican, I was excited about McCain and Palin in the early stages of their campaign, but was quickly turned off, disgusted and embarrassed by them as it progressed... I was even neutral towards Obama until I did some research and discovered some of his personal beliefs. When it came to political issues, I agreed and disagreed with both on different things, but none of it was deal breaking. In short, this election was a lose-lose for me. I opposed both parties and both personalities, yet I needed to make a decision. I didn't want to vote for some obscure person whom nobody has ever heard of either, because I didn't want to "waste" my vote, so I needed to choose between the two... Political issues aside, it had to get personal. I couldn't vote for them as individuals, I had to vote for what they stood for. As I stood in that voting booth, it literally came down to be a matter of life and death for me... And I chose life.

Someone told me that as a woman and a teacher I had a moral obligation not to vote for McCain, but I think that especially being a woman and a teacher, never mind a follower of Jesus, I had a "moral obligation" to vote for life and family. I could NEVER vote for someone who didn't believe that each and every single life has meaning, purpose and destiny. Given a choice, I will vote PRO-LIFE every single time. Life and family are the ONLY reasons I voted McCain, because in my opinion, it was the only thing he had going for him that has put him above Obama in my eyes. He was the so called "lesser of two evils". So here are my reasons for choosing LIFE:

I have seen (and still have) videos and pictures of abortions being performed on innocent, helpless, defenseless, unborn babies (humans), and it has not only made me sick to my stomach, but outraged me to tears... I honestly do not understand and comprehend how in the world abortion is even legal... It is the most outright and cruel form of murder ever committed in numbers that are staggering... How can you call it "a right to do what you want with your body" when it's a whole separate life you are taking! Just because that life happens to be inside your body, it doesn't mean that it's yours to dispose of! Think about it... when a pregnant woman is murdered, the murderer is charged with a double homicide because in reality, he took 2 lives, not just 1! I think we play God when we decide we have the right to end a life just because we can. God is the author and the giver of ALL life, not us! Just because we can biologically create it, doesn't mean that we were behind the original design! God is the ONLY one who gives life because He has a purpose and a destiny for each life that has ever been, is, and will be conceived on this earth! If we don't value each life for what it is and see the meaning and potential of it in each person, then why bother getting upset over murder and suicide? We need to view life as a precious gift, packed with unlimited potential... It doesn't belong to us because we didn't create it...

My parents have conceived me out of wedlock, and I'm eternally grateful to my mother for not aborting me... Can you just imagine your best friend being aborted? Your husband, sister, mother, the founder of your workplace, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa... What about your own life... Imagine your own life being aborted... you can't, can you? I mean, who knows if we've already aborted the person who would have found a cure for AIDS or cancer... You, the person reading this... you're precious in the eyes of God... Your life is packed with so much meaning, so much purpose, so much potential, so much destiny... You were created for a reason and your life is a gift... Yes, you are a gift to this world... it needs you...

I love God... I love Jesus... I love people... I love LIFE... My life, your life... It's priceless because it's eternal...

For more info and statistics on abortion, click here: http://www.abortionno.org/Resources/fastfacts.html

Talking To Strangers

...is something I've always been very good at :) I'm sure at some point in my childhood my mother tried to dissuade me from it, but clearly to no avail. Back in my GC cadre days, one of my leaders told me that I knew no strangers, and it was true... Every person I've encountered was a potential new friend. Somewhere along the line though, I got a case of self righteous snobbery (a common side effect to watch out for if you constantly keep yourself in a Christian bubble of fellowship). It's funny, I didn't even realize I had it until God started to rock my world during the last few months. All of a sudden I could see so much pride, selfishness, fear, and prejudice in myself, it really shook me up. What happened to me? How could I have become so judgemental, arrogant, proud, disapproving and self righteous? Sadly, I know the answer... By grace, that has changed. God has humbled me BIG TIME, reminding me once again, who He is, who I am and how much He loves me and wants to be in relationship with me.


So here's what I learned, and I've already blogged about some of this before:


*I'm no better than ANYONE by ANY means

*I know EXACTLY who I would be and what kind of lifestyle I would live without Jesus

*None of us are "worthy"

*None of us are "good enough"

*None of us "deserve" love, especially God's love

*God loves EVERYONE just as much (if not a bit more) as me

*I am who I am by GRACE alone

*There is no fear in love

*Fear is the opposite of faith

*Love is patient

*Hope doesn't disappoint

*Love never fails

* It's not about church, Christianity, or any particular pastor, leader or preacher.

*It is all about JESUS


As a result, I've met a lot of really cool people lately and opened myself up to new friendships, new experiences and a new perspective on life, God and love. I really do love Jesus, I really do love people and I really do love life :)

So in the words of Brandon Heath:

Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see...
Everything that I keep missing
Give me Your love for humanity

Give me Your arms for the brokenhearted
Those that are far beyond my reach
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see...

Last Night...

...was a bit more than what I bargained for, but fun nonetheless :) Here are some memorable highlights (more for my sake than yours :P):

Me to Tembi: That was the most awkward bachata of my life!

JMC: Do you want to dance?
Me: Are you sure?

Mark to me: I saw you, what the hell were you doing?!?!

Me to Richard: You're not THAT hot!

Me: I don't need dancing shoes, I don't go that much.
Tembi: You go all the friggin' time!

Anyway, you probably don't find this as amusing as I do, but that's because you don't know me or have never gone salsa dancing with me :P Either way, there's more to it...

So yea... I had fun, stayed way too late, made new friends and saw some things in a new light... It was a spontaneously interesting night and I'm glad I went :)

The Issue of Church

Lately I’ve been going to three very different church services at three very different churches. On Saturday nights I’m usually found at YP (Young Professionals), one of the City Church services, on Sunday mornings, I’m always at The Image, my home church, and on Sunday evenings I try very hard to end up at Mars Hill. All three churches are currently a part of me and each one represents a different stage of spiritual growth in my life.

City Church is my first family. I was literally born (again) and raised there. It is a perfect church for any new Christian - loving, nurturing and full of all the resources, classes and tools a new Christian needs to grow, mature and get established in the faith. It’s absolutely wonderful for building a strong, solid Biblical foundation and discovering your identity and purpose in Christ. It was there that I learned how to serve, got trained as a leader, and built many lifelong friendships. I learned about obedience, submission, true leadership, faithfulness, and purity. It was an amazing school, an ideal training ground to truly prepare me for my send off when it was time for me to graduate... And so I still love visiting YP. I enjoy being around people my own age, young professionals who love Jesus and who are my friends... It's nice to be with people who know you :)

If City was a school, Image is the workplace. It is the place I get to practice everything I've learned. I'm often challenged, frustrated and stretched to my limits (and what often feels beyond them). It's hard. Very hard at times, and I've wanted to quit on multiple occasions, but I know I'm there for a reason, and even if I am called to leave one day, that day has not come yet... Don't get me wrong, I do love The Image... I love the people, they are my new family now... And I absolutely adore my pastors, I think they are simply incredible, even if we do disagree sometimes...

I think the reason I enjoy going to Mars Hill so much is because of its stark diversity. I can picture just about anyone and everyone going there. It’s so laid back and chill, you don’t have to worry about “fitting in”. I'm not particularly fond of their rockish worship, but even that has grown on me a lot. When I'm there, I know I’m not surrounded only by Christians. While most of people who attend Mars Hill are Christian, a good portion is not. It took me a while to figure out that not everyone who goes to church is necessarily serving God. People go to church for all sorts of reasons, and I know because I used to be one of them and know many people who still are like that. Tradition, religion, friends, romantic relationships, family/peer pressure, guilt and self righteousness are just some of the things that can drive people to church. Unfortunately, attending church on Sundays doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than sitting in a garage makes you a car, especially in a big church like Mars Hill, where the controversy alone makes it a very appealing and interesting place to visit on a Sunday night when there isn’t much else to do.

It was as a pleasant surprise when God placed it on my mind and in my heart to go to Mars Hill about a month ago. I used to be a faithful Sunday night attendee there a couple of years back, but stopped going because I felt convicted to stick to my home church, and ever since then I’ve only been an infrequent visitor. Still, I LOVE Mars Hill, especially pastor Mark, whom I’ve met and admire almost as much as my own pastor. In fact, I think Mars Hill has some of the best theology teaching that I’ve ever heard anywhere.

When I went on their website to check out service times, I was once again reminded just why that place holds a special place in my heart. It’s ALL about Jesus. All the arrows, signs, messages, themes and EVERYTHING point to Jesus. I love it. What I love even more though is that it also focuses on people, culture and the city… I love the city, I love Seattle and I do not want to live anywhere else.

And so I've been going to Mars Hill for the entire Peasant Princess series so far, ever since God spontaneously brought me there the very first week it started... Random, I know, but hey, I know I need it (doesn't EVERYONE?). Once it ends, I might stop going... It's not my church home (for now), but I sincerely hope that one day it will be...

The "Parent" Experience

Ever since I started nannying, I've felt like I've been going through a really bazaar "parent" experience that I was not ready for in any way, shape or form.

It started with Connor, a cute tiny little 5 month old who happened to fall in love with me and vice versa. Every time we would go out, I would get complimented on how cute “my son” looks. People would just assume he was mine, which bothered me because, as cute as he was, he wasn’t mine, and I didn’t want to be thought of as a “mother” or a single parent because I wasn’t wearing a wedding band. I’m not sure why, but I really hated the idea of random people I passed by on the street thinking this stuff about me. So I was just like, umm, thanks, but he’s not mine, so I can’t take the credit, I didn’t make him. I felt like I should be wearing a “NANNY” sign or something. Don’t get me wrong, I totally want to be a parent one day and have my own little bundle of joy to carry around and show off, but I'm pretty sure I want to be a wife first, so let's take it one thing at a time...

Fast forward to my current job: taking care of three adorable blue eyed boys who look like they could totally be mine (minus the blond hair). How many times have I been mistaken for their mom? Countless, although I’m hoping the parents at school know I’m just a nanny since the “real” mom occasionally drops off and picks up the oldest boy, Bennett. I just feel so out of place being there…at the school I mean. I see all those parents, both moms and dads in equal numbers, waiting for their kids, taking them to their classes, watching them play on the playground, and I feel so left out…Like I don't belong there... I can't even talk to them... I’m not like them… I’m not a parent… I don’t have my own flesh and blood out there on the swings…

So sure, it can be weird and frustrating sometimes, but it's also nice in a way... It gives me hope... Hope of all the wonderful things I have to look forward to... I love seeing dads with wedding bands on their left hand... It gives me hope of one day having a wonderful husband who will also be a wonderful father :) I mean they're out there... To look at the bright side, I'm getting a TON of experience, and it's not only educational, but fun :) I'm enjoying the "pretending" for now, but also definitely looking forward to the real thing ;)

I love you...

I just got the new (the only?) Brandon Heath CD and at first was pretty disappointed to discover that the only song on there that I liked was the one playing on the radio… Don’t you hate that? However, after faithfully (and dutifully) listening to it a few times, a few other songs have caught my attention. They didn’t have a catchy beat and sound and were a bit more mellow than what I usually go for, but their words went deep and hit me hard. Here are the lyrics to the two that I especially liked, because they struck a cord in my heart that’s been extra sensitive lately…

Love is

Love is not proud…
Love does not boast…
Love, after all, matters the most…
Love does not run…
Love does not hide…
Love does not keep itself locked inside…
Love is the river that flows through…
Love never fails you…

Love will sustain…
Love will provide…
Love will not cease due to time…
Love will protect…
Love always hopes…
Love still believes when you don’t…
Love is the arms that are holding you…
Love never fails you…

Nothing is greater than this…
‘Cause love is right here…
Love is alive…
Love is the Way, the Truth, the Life…
Love is the river that flows through…
Love never fails you…

I’ve been dealing with love a lot lately… Faith, hope and love… Can’t have one without the others… Faith is the opposite of fear. I’m stacking all my chips against my greatest fear… I’m all in… Faith gives me hope… And love is what gives life to faith… And so I love, believe and hope…

Listen up

Listen up, listen up…
No talking…
Listen up, listen up…
I’m listening now…

Why are you crying?
Did I say something wrong?
Weren’t we just talking?
Tell me what’s going on…
‘Cuz I’m pretty sure, my intentions,
Were nothing more than conversation…

Maybe I spoke too soon,
Maybe I said too much,
I think it’s time to listen up,
I’ve already said enough….

Sometimes I do this…
Thing is, I’m so afraid…
When it gets quiet…
What you might have to say…

‘Cuz I’m guilty of overcompensation,
I’m lost in my own translation
I apologize, I know…
I don’t want a word to get in the way... of you...
I’m listening…

I think I said everything I can… maybe even too much… I’m listening now, but you’re not talking…

FREEDOM!!!

My friends and I are the funnest, craziest people I know. Seriously, we have NO inhibitions! It's like, you'd think we're totally drunk, but we're completely sober. I can think of so many snapshots of us just having a blast while being ourselves and the people around us be like... OK you guys are CRAZY! Karaoke is a good place to start, but even that is kicking it up a notch. How about just hanging out downtown by the space needle and taking pictures of ourselves jumping off the fountain? Or videotaping ourselves dancing at Triple Door? Another favorite is being very animated while playing games (Jenga) at bubble tea... No matter what we do, we do it with passion, giving it our all. We are absolutely silly, affectionate, playful and fun, and we don't care :P We feel completely and totally free being ourselves 24/7 and it's fantastic!

So what's the big deal? Well, for one, I don't remember ever being able to be so free BC (before Christ) without having at least one shot of something strong in me. I've also met a lot of people who are just in awe of our freedom, but who, for some reason or another, do not possess it themselves. I've been thinking about why that is, and this is what I came up with:

* We are LOVED :) You can only love freely if you know that you are loved :) And not even necessarily by the object of your love, but loved in general. We love God, we love life, we love people and we love each other :)

* We know who we are :) Our identity lies in our creator, we know who we are, what we want and the purpose and meaning of our lives. We are secure and confident, needing no other approval than that of our Heavenly Father, and we know that we are adored by Him :)

The Bible says that where the spirit of the Lord is, there's freedom. His spirit lives inside of us, we know the truth and it has set us free even in some of the most practical ways you can think of :) It's very liberating to have the freedom to let loose, let go, and enjoy the simple things in life without worrying that you're acting like a child... It's good to be a child sometimes and know that you have the approval of your Father...

Sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and live like it's heaven on earth...