Yes and No

One of my best partner-in-crime/let's-stay-up-all-night-and-party/crazy-fun-salsera girlfriends from my hometown visited me in IL this past weekend, and of course . . . . we went dancing :D 

Sadly, I live in a tiny town with virtually no dance scene whatsoever, so we decided to be brave and venture into The Big City for some delicious salsa, and I'm not talking about the kind you dip your chips in ;) I've danced in The Big City a few times before and I've always had a blast, met cool people and left satisfied. Needless to say, I was expecting nothing short of a fabulous experience to share with my chicabiddy. We were given a few recommendations for what was "the" salsa spot for that night, got all dolled up, and hit the town ready to tear up the dance floor with the best of them ;) 

What ended up actually happening was a series of unfortunate events/dances where we were both left appalled,  dumbfounded and shaking our heads wondering if it was us or them... I'm fully comfortable admitting that I'm a dance snob, but even so, I try to be nice and polite even when I'm not necessarily enjoying myself. That night, however, I completely failed in hiding the puzzled look on my face, as if to say, "Are you serious???" At one point, I was so exasperated I couldn't help but ask, "Can we just dance?" And at another, I literally threw my hands up in protest and exclaimed, "Wow! Too many questions." Of course what I really wanted to tell both of those leads was to "Shut up and dance!!!" 

When I woke up the next morning, I was still wondering what some of those guys were thinking . . . I mean, just because they asked me to dance and I said yes, did that mean that I agreed to live the next 3 or so minutes on their terms? What exactly was I saying "yes" to??? My friend and I came to the club because we wanted to dance and believe it or not...that's it. If we would have known that by saying yes we would be subjected to a pat down, interrogation and other torturous expressions of attention/affection, you can bet your bottom dollar that the only answer you would have gotten from us would have been "no". 

That being said, here's a very short list of all the things we are not saying "yes" to when we say yes to a dance. In fact, these are all the things to which we are saying a very strong "NO"!!!  So take it with a grain of salt, enjoy and feel free to add your own :) 

* Being grabbed, groped, mishandled or any other form of unnecessarily prolonged excessive physical contact. This is bachata, not foreplay, and I don't even know you like that. 

 * 3.5 minutes of speed dating where you ask me 20 questions trying to establish some kind of a connection. If there's a connection to be made, let it be by your moves, not your words. Speak in body language, don't be mouthy. 

 * A census survey of where I'm from, where I live and what I do. Asking me for my name at the beginning of the dance is fine, but leave the rest of the questions for afterwards if you're still really that intrigued. Better yet, wait for me to ask you. If I'm impressed by your moves, I most likely will. 

* Being complimented to the Nth degree. If you want to tell me I'm a great dancer, wait until after we actually finish dancing, and no, gushing on and on about how beautiful you think I am, is not creepy at all!!! Focus on your leading and maybe then I'll actually be flattered when you say something nice. If you can't dance, flattery will get you nowhere. 

Most importantly, please keep in mind the reason why we're all "supposedly" here - TO DANCE. Therefore, let's keep the dancing on the forefront of the agenda, and all will be well in the world :)