Seven years... The number of perfection. Or in my case, the number of completion. Seattle was home... I loved it dearly, and took such pride in calling myself its best tour-guide. And yet towards the end, the grey skies, the drizzly rain, the chilling cold, and the ever present traffic began to take their toll. What hasn't bothered me for six years, all of a sudden became unbearably frustrating and I was itching to get out. The more vacations I took, especially to places with better public transportation (aka subways) and warmer climates, the more I wanted to leave, to move, to just go and not come back. And all the reasons to stay - family, friends, salsa, boys, work, comfort, security and all the pretty scenery and great food of Seattle - were no longer enough to keep me there. In fact, there came a point when I felt like there was NOTHING holding me back.
Sure, it was scary to just pack up and go, but it was even more scary not knowing what my life would be like if I didn't. Let's get real, I was a college graduate working "college student" jobs, partying almost every night and still living home with mom, all while nearing 30. It's not that I wasn't responsible or mature... I was. What I wasn't, however, was "independent". And I was ready to change that.
Grad school was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. A gift really... Something that more or less fell into my lap. It was a chance to grown up, leave the nest, spread my wings and soar to a place called "my future". It was a promise of a specialized career that would literally take me anywhere I wanted to go.
A lot of people have asked me what it feels like to be 30, and the only thing I can tell them is that 30 feels...stable. I feel stable and secure in where I am, what I'm doing, what I want, who I am and who my friends are. I no longer want to "fit in" or impress "the cool kids", I'm perfectly happy being myself and doing my own thing, trusting that the people who truly love and appreciate me for who I am will come alongside me and stay.
Facebook has taught me to recognize what I "Like". Literally :) I believe that if you have something positive or encouraging on your mind, you should say it!!! Do not withhold that which costs you nothing to give. Be liberal with "the good" - love, attention, affection, kindness, compliments, and most importantly, the truth. I've been battling with the latter a lot recently, being unsure of what it was and who I could expect it from... In the end of all my pondering, this is what I came up with:
The truth is not what we're told, what we believe or even what we feel. It's what really happened, what was, is and will be. The truth is not in words, because words can lie. Nor is it in actions, because those can be insincere. Neither is it in sentiments, because feelings are fleeting and ever-changing. Truth can be momentary or eternal, big or small, hurtful or healing. Truth is in consistency, proven time after time, always there, deliberate and purposeful. It's actions backing up words, feelings and promises. It's making a choice, a decision and following it through. It's being true to yourself, your heart, your conscience and your identity. It's calling things as they are, identifying emotions, naming words and labeling behaviors, not in order to confine, but to set free, because the truth shall always set you free.
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