Friends Forever

Been thinking a lot about friendship lately... I mean, with 800 something "friends" on Facebook (most of whom I actually know personally), the reality of who my real friends were was beginning to get a little blurred. Being so social and having so many people in my life put me in a bit of a predicament... Hundreds of people knew things about me, but not very many of them actually knew me. Which wouldn't necessarily be a problem if my life was boring, uneventful and I was able to keep my mouth shut. But no... I happen to live a pretty full, fun and "exciting" life, and share it with other people, because if you can't, than what's the point??? And so I talk, or post, or write, or comment about pretty much everything that happens to me on a day to day basis... What can I say, I'm pretty outspoken :P And so people talk... To me, about me, you name it. And well... sometimes information alone is not enough. Sometimes interpretation is necessary. And when it comes to personal matters, or issues of the heart, you can't assume, you have to know. And sometimes... you just have to experience.

I think I can safely say that I have at least 25 years of experience in friendship. Looking back, I can remember pretty much all of them. From preschool nap buddies and summer camp pals, to neighbors, school friends, college party partners-in-crime, co-workers, church, and dance... So many circles, so many paths, so many stories... Having made so many friends, I have to admit that I also lost a few ... Some I let go of quickly and with relief, and others I mourn and still hope to reconcile with, even to this day... They say a friendship that can end has never truly existed, and to some extent, I have to agree. But what signifies the end of a friendship? Loss of communication? No... Loss of common interests, activities, and community? Maybe... Loss of trust? Yes.

I've been through my share of arguments, disagreements and even "fights" with most of my friends at some point or another in our friendship, and of course the mature thing to do was to work it out, or at least try... And that can only be done through understanding. And understanding is, indeed, work. It's putting aside your own views, perspectives and feelings, and experiencing the situation in another person's shoes. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn't... Sometimes the results were instantaneous, and other times it took days, weeks, months, and even years... But when it did work, when it really worked, the results were amazing. When understanding took place, a certain knowledge ensued... And not just an intellectual knowledge of superficial facts, but an intimate knowledge of someone's heart and soul... Having experienced what they experienced and felt what they felt, you "knew" them... The Greek word conosco means to know someone in such an intimate way, it is most often associated with the exclusivity of marriage, a circle of trust, a covenant of vows...

Anyway, my point is... People, even friends, may know things about you, but your best friends... they know you. Others may know what you did, but best friends know how you felt... Some may have heard what you said, but only those closest to you know what you meant... And with your best friends, with those who truly know you, it doesn't matter how far apart you live, or how often you speak... When the two of you are in the same room, it's like two hearts connecting as one... Or three hearts, or four, or however many you may be blessed enough to find, and keep... and love...