Following Before Styling

Following: Doing what you're directed to do. Styling: Doing your own thing. Following: it takes 2. Styling: a solo act.

When I first started salsa dancing, I had no idea what "styling" was. I was too busy and focused on trying to follow my partner that the idea of doing some extra moves on the side didn't even occur to me. Fast forward a couple of years, and thanks to a few of Becka's workshops, I was beginning to incorporate some hand, foot and head work into my dance. As I got more and more comfortable, I started picking up more and more styling techniques from my other favorite follows, such as Julia and Juliet, as well. Naturally, I thought this made me a good dancer. So imagine my shock and surprise when after my first dance with one of the Seattle salsa "legends", I was told (by him) that I styled too much and needed to follow more. WHAT?! Are you kidding me?! You want me to go back to just following? Go back to "the basics"? Yes. Because apparently that's what makes a great dancer.

What does a lead want from a follow? I can't say I know it all, but I do know that responsiveness and cooperation are definitely on the list. Having your hand there when he needs it for the next move, moving your arm out of the way so he can bring you in, keeping your elbows in so you don't hit him, shoulders down so he can spin you, etc. It's the whole "working together" thing that makes the dance work (and make you look good!). Sometimes it takes a little sacrifice on the follow's part to show off a little less and cooperate a little more. However, there is a time to shine and style and make yourself look good :) When your partner's hands are off of you :P Ok, so not only then, but when the time is right, when your lead "allows" you to do so...

Who do we style for anyway? Is it for ourselves, to make us feel good about our dancing? Just knowing that we can do it... Or for our partner, so that he'd realize how hot of a dancer you are? What if he's too focused on himself to even notice? Or is it for the crowd, to put on a show and get asked for more dances by the "good" leads who are watching? Sometimes just the pressure of being watched is enough to make us do stuff we wouldn't normally do... I suppose it's a combination of the 3...

So how does that translate into our walk/dance with God? Should we be "following" more than we are "styling"? In a true partnership, it takes 2 people working together towards a common goal. So when He "leads" us to do something, how often do we say, "Ok, Lord, yea, I'll do that, but then I'm just gonna this and this here for myself as well, while I'm at it." And sometimes it's ok... He didn't create us to be robots, for crying out loud! But other times, when we get too self absorbed in doing our own thing for ourselves, we may miss seeing His hand trying to lead us into the next move He has for us... Sometimes our "styling" can not only cause us to miss His hand, but also to get in the way of Him trying to bring us in closer, and in other ways, cause more harm than good.

So then how do you know when it's ok to style and when it's not? Well, by principle alone, be a follow first. Always be aware of where your lead's hands are and what he's doing. If he wants your hand, give it to him! If not, feel free to style away... In choreographed routines, styling is already worked into the dance... But our life, and social dancing, are not choreographed, so we just have to be extra sensitive to the promptings of the lead... So remember girls (and boys), follow first and style on your own time ;-P!