Friday, July 14, 2006

Love Songs

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Romance and Relationships

so i've been listening to a lot of country lately... a mixture of my cds and whats on the radio... i LOVE having 3 country radio stations... it seriously rocks!

anyway, country music is mostly love songs, mostly about heartache... i LOVE dierk bentley's new song "slow down" and i'm not saying it just cuz i met him either ;)! lol i'm almost tempted go revisit some of my old poetry and see if any of it can be the next hit single haha probably not (its still very good though i got major skills lol)

but yea, country love songs are different than pop and other love songs. i guess its because they are more realistic... not that its good reality most of the time, but its things people can relate to. honestly, there is a country song for everything! i seriously can relate to almost every song in some way lol. i think thats why i like country so much... its like these songs are about me... pretty much every rascal flatts song anyway...

these songs are not necessarily christian, but they're good. i can sing every word lol and i think its because i feel it. we've all been there... we all have feelings... Yes, God is greater than our feelings and we shouldnt succumb to them, i strongly believe that, but feelings are associated with memories and its funny how some songs just take you back...

usually i'm not a fan of love songs and romantic flicks. i'm pretty realistic and i know whats what, but something about country music, country love songs... it just does it for me... like nothing else...

in the words of rascal flatts: "i melt"

as a single person who is trying to guard her heart and keep her feelings in check, i know i have no business listening to music that stirs up feelings of romance that cant be fulfilled, but something about it is almost soothing, like something to look forward too (except the heartache part lol)... one day... my cowboy (not a literal cowboy lol, unless thats what God really has for me) will sing along with me lol :) and i pretty much can hardly wait!

Currently listening :
Feels Like Today
By Rascal Flatts
Release date: 28 September, 2004

Monday, July 10, 2006

Harvest Camp

Current mood: chipper
Category: Life

Song that was always stuck in my head: Jesus, Youre my superhero!

Most overused phrase: toot-to-do-do-do! (If I hear it one more time Ill scream!)

Games: Games were THE BEST! We had 2 sport sessions (not counting the morning workout) and 2 game sessions each day and they were all SO FUN! All of us not only exercised our bodies, but our minds and hearts. Heres some of the stuff we played: Soccer (Of course! Hello, this was a Russian camp!), Capture the Flag, Mr. Fox, 7 Bureaucrats (SO FUN! We totally tortured the kids! The point of the game was patience, obedience and submission), Socks (Another revenge on the kids game LOL!), Rocks (An awesome test of character game!), Night Game (THE BEST GAME! Total revenge on the kids! Everyones favorite! Pitch black darkness, flashlights, running through the woods, screaming, popping balloons, it was SO fun! And scary of course!) We also had a water balloon fight, lets soak everybody time, lets dunk the girls counselors in the pool time, 5 minutes of torturing all counselors and workers, and other things that I cant think of right now, but you get the point!

Crafts: We did the BEST crafts! They were really cool: awesome necklaces, key chains, bracelets and other jewelry. Everybody loved them, they were really neat!

People: Russians HAHA enough said! For real though, everyone was really cool. I didnt know anyone really well except Diana and almost everyone except like 6 people were paired off, so it was pretty much all couples which got a little bit annoying because the couples were pretty much always together. I guess camp is pretty romantic, especially at night when the kids are asleep and all the counselors and workers are hanging out by the huge fire lol there were 4 single people there including myself and I was the oldest one (not by much, but still) theres Russian culture for yalol. We all got along really well though and had a blast together!

Kids: I had 6 middle school girls and 8 middle school boys in my group (An older man was in charge of the boys, but only at night). I was pretty nervous because only 4 of those kids were from my school and I didnt know the other ones. The kids were SO good though! Sure, I had to have a couple of heart to hearts with them, but God gave me such favor, they totally loved me, looked up to me, and listened to me! I loved having the older kids because I could give them more freedom and independence. I barely had to ask them to do anything, they were pretty responsible and did everything themselves. I loved it! I always knew where they were and I just really enjoyed being with them, it was awesome! Our group was called the Brave Guys and Girls (trust me, it sounds better in Russian).

Church: We had church twice a day: worship, exhortation and lessons in the morning and worship, prayer, testimonies and performances at night. Guess who taught the lessons? Thats right, yours truly. I was nervous about how it was going to go, but God gave me such grace, those lessons were the best I have ever taught! The kids were very attentive and participated and it just went so perfect and so smooth, it was really anointed I could hardly believe it, it was ALL God!

My group also put on 2 skits and sang/performed to 2 songs, and my girls even wrote their own song in Russian to thank everyone.

Worship: THE BEST! It felt like we were worshipping all day because we literally had music on all day throughout the whole camp. And let me tell you, it was GOOD music! I heard so much incredible Christian music from so many genres, I felt like I was in heaven. I never knew such music even existed! Im talking Christian techno, hip hop, rap, REALLY GOOD music! Worship time was very fun too of course! Different groups led worship and we had a lot of dancing, jumping around and just having a great time worshiping God with reckless abandon.

Prayer: God showed up BIG TIME! Thursday night especially, it was so incredible! I wasnt even expecting it and then BOOM! Ill never forget itpraying for all the kids at the altar, prophesying over them, crying with them it was so awesome to see EVERYONE, especially the boys and guy leaders to be so moved by God, just holding each other, praying for each other, laying hands on each other, it was almost unreal to see tough little (and big) Russian boys crying, hugging each other and their leaders, praying for each other to receive the Holy Spirit 20 kids received the Holy Spirit that night! It was very overwhelming everybody telling each other how much they love each other and asking for forgiveness lives were changing right before my eyes Ive never seen anything like it before! Ive never seen kids touched by God like that before! I was praying with and for my girls and they were just so broken, we just held each other and cried together, they were telling me they loved me we were all just soaked in the presence of God This went on for a long time and it was so sweet nobody wanted to end it it was radical.

Food: There was SO MUCH FOOD! They fed us 6 times a day! No joke! Good food, like pancakes, chicken, pasta, Russian soup, lots of sweets, TONS and TONS of sunflower seeds (they are HUGE in Russia!)! Between all of us, we easily went through like 50 bags, we were eating them constantly! I seriously had enough to last me until next years camp!

Favorite memory: When all the kids were giving their testimonies after Thursday nights prayer. One of the boys from my school (a good buddy of mine and my personal masseuse) was completely in tears but so happy because he has just received the Holy Spirit and he said I waited 12 years for this and it feels so good! I couldnt hug him enough that night.

Funniest moment: Lost and Found time at the end of each day! It was THE FUNNIEST EVER! Throughout the day we would pick up the things kids left behind and at the end of the day we would torture the kids and make them work very hard to get their stuff back! It was SO hilarious! Punishments ranged from singing, dancing, push ups, running around screaming, goose walking to anything else that was embarrassing and funny. My favorites were singing Russian cartoon songs and techno songs! Everybody was doubled over with laughter; it was the most I have ever laughed! You really had to be there to truly appreciate it!

Overall: This was one of the greatest experiences of my life Sleeping in a sleeping bag on the ground with 6 girls in a tent flies and mosquitoes literally EVERYWHERE using the outhouse outside sinks man it was pretty hardcore and yet it was beautiful. Theres beauty in simplicity. God was there and lives were changed. I have to say the CK Camp really prepared me in some ways, but there was really no preparation better than prayer and God still surpassed all expectations, but thats why Hes God I got ridiculously blessed and touched by God and I am not the same.

City Kids Camp

Current mood: awake
Category: Life

Song that was always stuck in my head: I pledge!

Most overused phrase: Line up!

Games: My team didnt get to play all of them L. The egg game was pretty cool I learned a lot of camp games from other counselors though and that was fun!

Crafts: They were aight I really liked making the stepping stones.

People: Other counselors, volunteers and workers were pretty cool for the most part. Inters were awesome! I didnt know a whole lot of people, but by the end of camp I met, became friends with, and got closer to some pretty neat folks LOL J!

Kids: I had 8 3rd grade girls and they were super cute! We pretty much instantly fell in love with each other! I didnt really have any problems with them. A few tried testing me but I set them straight right away J. I really enjoyed them and I miss them L I hope to see all of them again soon.

Church: I absolutely love Pastors Leon and Ryan! They are amazing! I really enjoyed the church services! The skits were very funny and entertaining and the messages were very well broken down for kids! Church was great!

Worship: IT WAS SO FUN! I loved all the dancing, jumping and silly fun stuff! I really enjoyed it, even more than the kids J! It was awesome exercise too!

Prayer: I wish there was more of it morning prayer rocked and it totally blessed me, but I didnt really get to pray for my girls all that much and I just felt like there wasnt enough altar time maybe because the kids were so young?

Food: It was ok... Im all set with pizza for a while, but other than that it was pretty good.

Favorite memory: Prayer Tunnel! I was seriously touched by God and then right after that we had to go to snack! Come on now! Whatever happened to basking in the presence of God?

Tubing was really fun too! I totally loved it!

Funniest moment: My girls said and did funny stuff all the time, but nothing that really stands out there were some funny moments when we went tubing, but I think I better keep those to myself...

Overall: It was my first time being a camp counselor and it was an awesome experience that has definitely taught me a lot. I got super blessed!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

I'm a Christian...

Current mood: calm
Category: Life

When i say im a christian, im not shouting "I am saved", im whispering "i get lost", that is why i choose this way. When i say im a christian, i dont speak of this with PRIDE, im confessing that i stumble, and need SOMEONE to be my guide. When i say im a christian, im NOT trying to be strong, im professing that i am WEAK, and pray for STRENGTH to carry on. When i say im a christain, im not bragging of success, im admitting i have FAILED, and i cant EVER pay the debt. When i say im a christian, im not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are WAY too visible, but God believes im WORTH it. When i say im a christian, i STILL feel the sting of pain, i have my share of HEARTACHES, which is WHY i seek HIS name. When i say im a christain, i do not wish to judge, i have NO authority, i only know ... im LOVED!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

I miss my kids! :(

Current mood: sad
Category: Life

ok so i know that for the past week (or two... or three...) i've been gushing about how i cant wait for school to be over and how my kids (students) were starting to get on my nerves and i couldnt wait to get rid of them for the summer... well that was all true at the moment, BUT... tonight was our end of school banquet and as i watched them all dressed up, just sitting there, performing the play (it was great!) and coming up to recieve their awards (i was SO proud!) i got really sad... as they hugged me and told me they'd miss me and they loved me, i really wanted to cry... so i just hugged them back really tight and held them for that extra second, ruffling their perfect hair, stealing a kiss... I MISS THEM ALREADY! i really love those little rascals... they are just so darn cute! sure, i dont miss yelling at them to sit down, stop talking and do their work, but i miss those sweet moments of laughing and playing together, getting love notes from them and unexpected hugs... just enjoying them... i love them... man, what am i gonna do this summer without them?! :( i cant believe i'm actualy saying this, but i cant wait for school to start back up already!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

God is GOODER than I thought

Current mood: tired
Category: Life

i like this title... but that's not quite what this blog is gonna be about...

so i went to greenlake today and i had some food with me to munch on while i was reading and this crazy squirrel comes up like super close sniffing around acting as if its gonna pounce on me (it must have been a boy lol haha jk) so i threw a piece of bagel at it and it ran away to eat it and then came back super close again i was kinda scared lol so i threw so more bread to it and it ran away to eat it and that happened like 4 times until this lady came whistling and feeding the squirrels peanuts they were eating them right out of her hand... crazyness... i was thinking this would never happen in RI... wow... crazy squirrels...

oh and my baby sis looks EXACTLY like me when i was a baby... its crazy... she is like identical.... how cute!

so yea... kind of a random blog... but God really is good... gooder than i thought... my cousin called today saying she will take a part in sponsoring my Japan trip... YAI! Thank you JESUS!

Saturday, June 3, 2006

Encounter (the Russian one)

Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Life

i didnt think it was possible for God to change my life anymore than He already has... but He did! i can hardly believe it... i'm still breathless from His goodness and glory...

i went with specific expectations... big expectations... i wanted a breakthrough... i wanted deliverance.... i wanted healing... i wanted God to answer my questions and breathe fresh life and vision into me... and He totally met me there and fulfilled all i needed, wanted, and then some! of course, what did i expect? He is GOD! i recieved such a new revelation of His love for me, its breathtaking... i have such joy, such freedom, such peace... i can hardly believe all He has done for me! its quite incredible... i love Him so much! more than ever (i didnt think that was possible either lol)...

talk to me if you want to know more, its just too much emotion ad information to type out on a blog, but i do want to say this:

my favorite part was when the Encounter ended and all the adults left, about 10 girls (including myself) stayed behind at the camp to spend the last night there and until 2 AM all we did was praise and worship for 3 hours... girls from 12 to 23... we just sang our hearts out to God, prayed, cried, and spent time loving on Him and thanking Him for all he has done for us this weekend... it was heavenly... God came down and met with us yet again... what can I say... He cant resist the praises of His people... :)